Saturday, October 30, 2003
10:35
This night was one of the craziest nights I’ve ever lived. I am high on life. It’s like I’m living my own erotic dream, or something. Actually, come to think of it, I don’t think I would even want to live my own erotic dream. A whole night of partying. So first, I went to Ben’s birthday. He turned 15 Monday. So we picked up Sam, which took forever because my crazy mother wouldn’t slow down so I could find Sam’s house. So then, she takes the long way to Ben’s house.  Thirty minutes of my crazy mother thinking aloud is no picnic.
            Ben’s Party
So first, I went to Ben’s birthday. He turned 15 Monday, and got his permit Thursday maybe. So we picked up Sam, which took forever because my crazy mother wouldn’t slow down so I could find Sam’s house. So then, she takes the long way to Ben’s house.  Thirty minutes of my crazy mother thinking aloud is no picnic. So when we *finally* get there, Ben and Pat are there of course, and a few other people. Walker, John, Erga, and He-Who-I-Don’t-Like-To-Hear-About. Then we decided to go get Sebastian, who conveniently lives just two houses down from Ben. When we got there I saw Sebastian had chickens. Chickens, that is the coolest thing. I think it would be awesome to have chickens. Ben’s whole neighborhood is cool. At the very end of his street, for instance, Brian Broc lives on a farm. Which is pretty massive. In fact, we tried to go trick or treating there, after Krissy, Grace, and Caitlyn got there. But we took the wrong road, and ended up at his barn. Which was a little scary as it was already dark. Erga said ‘Hey, if there was a bridge here, it  would look just like Sleepy Hollow.’ Which was a little scary when I thought about it. But when we were still waiting for everyone to get there, we watched this deleted scene of Clerks. I have to see that movie. But my God, Ben’s dad walked in right when Dante was eating this chick out, and he laughed. I think I need to get Ben’s parents to adopt me. Seriously.
Cassie and Mary Beth’s Party
I got to Mary Beth’s house a little late, seeing as my mother does not listen to directions. I had to change there too. So by the time I got out there, loads of people were sitting out on the deck.  Drew went as he said he would, Sid Vicious. I went as Courtney Love, and Mia went as Melissa Auf Der Maur. Stacey eventually came as Patty Schlemel, but only after Mia left. But it was still cool. We played Spin the Bottle, only by my rules. My rules being, no matter who the bottle lands on, you still get to pick. But it eventually evolved to make out with whoever you want and kiss who you have to. So I ended up kissing, no, snogging Drew about 7 times. He also snogged Mia. Being a swinger is so much fun. I don’t know why I never thought of it before.
Anyways, it was pretty amazing. Only it turns out Mia and I had lipstick all over our faces afterwards. So we faked nosebleeds. (Nosebleeds at the same time, go figure). And went to the bathroom. It wasn’t as fun after Mia left. We just sort of sat around. Then Michael King started smoking Newports. I mean, jeebus. If he’s going to smoke underage, can’t he smoke decent cigarettes? Newports are cancer packs. Anways, it was a pretty crazy night. One of the best.

Sunday, October 31
10:12
Happy real Halloween. Weird that it’s on a Sunday.  MYF had a thing at the Porter Farm. They built a bonfire and we went on a Hayride. It was crawling with people, and it got so dark you could barely see anything. So we had to wait forever to get on the Hayride. We finally got on, and started going into the woods. It was Mia, Grace, Clara, Justin, Drew and I. We started going, and about 5 minutes into the ride, we got stuck in mud. So we all had to get out, in the middle of the woods. In the middle of nowhere. The overall ride wasn’t really scary. But of course, it wouldn’t be, seeing as it was a Christian thing. It got pretty crazy though. We all got uber giddy, and Valerie ended up kicking Drew in the head. It was an accident, or so she said…
When we got back, we all sat around the bonfire. I tried to get some food, only I couldn’t see anything. Then this guy Will who I see around sometimes found these baby rats. Someone killed it’s mother. He let us hold them. They were so small and warm. It was awesome.
Anyways, I still have math homework that I haven’t gotten around to.


Tuesday, December 21, 2004
10:02 PM
I haven’t written in awhile. Nothing important happened, so you didn’t miss anything.
But today was the last day of school before Christmas Break, or Kwanzaa break for the African Americans, or Hanukah for the Jews, and Hell Yes, break time for everyone else. Today, whatever you want to call it, was a pretty cool day.  We went downtown. It was alright, but it would have been cooler if all the stores were open, and if people would make up their minds about where they want to go and what they want to do!
Tomorrow will be even better. I get to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to drive 4 and a half hours to my grandparent’s house. Whooo hoo.

Monday, January 5, 2005
9:49 PM
First day back at school. It was like hell on steroids….anyway, it sucked. We played this God Awful song in band called, “In Old Melbourne Town.” We might as well have played, “I have two freckles on my right arm,” because that’s how pointless that song is. Then was Math, which was an hour and a half of “Your Mother, Sister, Girlfriend, Grandmother is a dirty ho,” which is funny for about a month, but it has suddenly turned very…..nauseating. Third Block was a blessing, because we finally got out of Science and into history. And fourth block was alright, except for writing workshop, which always seems like forever.
Anyways, today was not too eventful. IM was very eventful, because as I have said many times, it is the hotbed of all things social. I’ve just started talking to Pat, and Aubrey’s all like, “Oh, I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings, I don’t want you to hate me.” Bah. Humbug. I thought it was all bullshit at first, but if he wants to be an ass, he doesn’t need my permission.
Eww, and I saw Drew’s broken toe at lunch today. It looked like a very sad blueberry.

Tuesday, January 10, 2005
5:34 PM
Went to the optometrist today and got contacts. I had to wait a million years taking that stupid eye exam. It was,
“Which looks clearer?”
“I see two of them.”
“Two? Well which one’s clearer?” For about an hour.
But it turns out that I have an astigmatism (whatever that means)  in both eyes and I am nearsighted. Contacts are turning out to be more trouble than they’re worth. It took me another 30 minutes to get them in. One of the nurses there says I have very strong eyelids. And plus I have some kind of weird fever. It keeps going up and down. I don’t care what it is, anything to keep me from going to school tomorrow.

Sunday, January 16, 2005
3:53 PM
So I finally got my hair cut. I think it looks alright. My head feels about 10 pounds lighter. The only thing is, if I don’t do anything to it, I look like a butch Julie Andrews from The Sound of Music. And, I’ve given up on my contacts. I’d rather be blind than messing with them anymore.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005
3:47 PM
I think it’s pretty safe to say that I have no life. Mia’s all got Bowman, and I’ve got…nobody. Well, I’ve got Drew actually. But that’s beside the point.
Oh woe to me. Looks like I’ll have to turn to my new emotional crutch….eating.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
7:39 PM
This is all kind of Twilight Zone if you ask me. People seem to like my hair. People who don’t even like me like my hair. Like Walker for instance. I go from, “Stupid Goth Girl,” yes, Goth girl….I ask you, to, “Magically Delicious” the next. Today, por example, he said, “Damn it Sarah, I just want to eat you up.” Which was half flattering, half scary.
This morning, Drew just had to point out that Aubrey and I were wearing the same shirt. He’s a shirt stealer and a dick face, as I pointed out to Drew. I also said, “I could kill him too.” And then, Drew said, “Yeah, you should do it too, but it’s just easier not to care.” Which was weird, because he’s the one who brought it up in the first place. He said something else really weird though, he said, “It’s so cute when couples dress alike.” I don’t know what he meant by it, but as I have said many times, boys are a total and complete mystery to me.

Saturday, January 22, 2005
11:03
The movies last night were specatcumous, if I do say so…..and I do. We all went to see Phantom of the Opera, but it was sold out, so we went to see Coach Carter, which was good fun too.  The movies were unnaturally packed for 7 on a Friday night though. Drew and I got there first, then Ben, Sebastian and Aubrey came with Michael Wiggins.  I think he went out with Terra, but they split up, I don’t know why, but of course, no one ever tells me anything.
Anyway, we all got into Coach Carter, which looked like ummm….I don’t know what. A theatre full of black people I guess. I thought it was truly inspirational, but Drew said it was gay.
As I was waiting for my ride, Allison snuck up behind me and said in a deep voice, “Sarah, will you go out with me?” Which was hilarious in anyone’s book.
I love the movies.

Thursday, January 27, 2005
9:13 in the PM
A typical, boring day at School. I had to wake up literally before dawn to walk, yes, walk to school because my mom tells me my dad is out of town. To be honest, I didn’t even know he was out of town. I just thought he was downstairs this whole time. That should give you an idea of how alert I am these days. I had to walk again after school too, right after playing tag. Jeez, Robby can run really fast.

Monday, January 31, 2005
9:44
Another boring day at Auburn Junior High School. There was a weak fight at lunch. It escalated kind of quickly, but nothing really happened. Coach Overton had to play the hard ass and dive over the lunch table to break them up. It kind of added to the excitement. I think Drew and I are kind of about to be over. He seems kind of uninterested lately. It’s cool though. Since we’re not going out officially there really won’t be a break-up, and we can still be cool. This unofficial dating is really ingenious if I do say so. It’s one of my more brilliant ideas. And trust me, that’s saying something….slash not really saying anything.
It seems that everyone is going on the Winter Retreat thing with church, which I have NO interest at all going to. So I’ll do nothing this weekend, like I did last weekend, while everyone was at Aubrey’s. Drew told me that Aubrey asked me to go though, but Drew didn’t think I’d want to. I thought about it and, would I really want to go to Aubrey’s party when I’m not a big fan of him anyway? Probably not. But I might have gone just for giggles. Oh well, c’est la vie.

Tuesday, February 1, 2005
9:55 PM
Yes, Drew and I have split up. Neither one of us was too upset, it was just one of those things. Again, the whole unofficial dating thing was so ingenious on so many levels. And, I apologized to Aubrey today for being so mean to him. He deserves it and everything, but I still feel kind of bad….sometimes.

Thursday, March 3, 2005
10:34 PM
I haven’t written anything in over a month, but what’s there to write? Nothing, that’s what. Tomorrow things will pick up though, because I’m going to Mia’s house to help her baby-sit some kids. And that’ll be cool. I told her about my thing for John. That I like him and all, but I don’t want to pursue him, at least not now.
Monday, March 14, 2005
10:15 P-Mizzle
A fairly uneventful weekend. Went downtown with a bunch of people. Mia, Drew, John, Ben, Aubrey, Pat, Caro and Terra to be exact. It was good fun.  Later on we went to the movies. We saw Be Cool. John and I went together, and everyone (for some reason) was watching us. So we got out, and the wind was blowing, and it was kind of cold, so we waited in the lobby. We talked for awhile, then we went back out and everyone was all looking at us, and they were all, “What took you so long?” I just pulled a face and left. Cause I’m cool like that…probably.
When I got home, John called me on my cell and out of nowhere asked me out. Now don’t get me wrong here, John is really cool and all, and I like him, but without thinking, I just said, “Sure.” Then the next day I went on a walk with Mia and Drew, and Drew was like, “Yeah, everyone was talking about you and John at the movies last night.” And I said, “What? Why?” And he said, “Yeah, they all said you’d have to be desperate to go out with him. And you didn’t make out at the movies, and you were probably planning to break up with him” To which I replied, “Why don’t all of you just mind your own godamn business?” And hit him in the stomach, which made me feel better.

Friday, March 18, 2005
9:32 PM
This week has been blah, and I’m feeling a little stressed. It’s a lot of things really. Grades, and I feel bad because I kind of still think that John likes me, and he’s really nice, don’t get me wrong,  but I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now. Tied down to one person, you know, that whole thing. I think it’s because he’s a little clingy, which can be a good thing, but I’m one of those girls who doesn’t like clingy guys. It’s not that I don’t like the attention, because I do., I think  I’m just crazy about space. It seems like I end up with someone too clingy, or someone who’s like, “Oh I’m sorry, I meant to call you when I got back from my cruise….two weeks ago.”  
On a semi-lighter note, I’m pretty sure my Dad’s awful truck has been totaled. The only thing is, Dad and Maggie were both in the car when they got rear-ended by an off duty cop…go figure. So I came back from the Film Festival at like 9:30 or something, and I see that the truck is totally smashed in the rear. I wanted to get down on my knees and thank God. I’ve been trying to get rid of that truck since we got it…when I was 8.

Saturday, March 18, 2005
1:41 PM
God I hate my parents sometimes. They have no sense of time at all. We’re supposed to go look for a new car, but I have a concert tonight at 4, and I have to get my trumpet at 3. My mom is just now curling her hair. Mia called me and asked if I wanted to go on a walk, but my Dad was all, “We’re about to leave in 30 minutes, there’s no time for that.” And that was an hour ago. Which made me mad because she spends a lot of time with Drew, which is cool, since he’s her boyfriend, but gosh, what about me? That was very selfish of me. I’ll probably have some bad karma coming my way for that. I love you Mia! <3
Later
9:56 PM
Well, the concert’s over, we didn’t decide on a car, and I can’t sleep. I was talking to Sam today, and we got on the topic of Robinson, and I admitted to him that I kind of maybe still have feelings for him, (Robinson), but I wouldn’t ever go out with him again because he doesn’t appreciate me. And Sam said that if I still like him I should give him another chance, but I can’t just waste another 5 months of my life waiting for him to call me. I might sound a little pathetic if I said I kept all of the notes he wrote me in the 7th grade and the pictures of us, so I won’t say it.
Oh, I remember how we got on the topic of Robinson.  This guy in my band class said I was hot or something, and Sam said, “Yeah, he would be a lot of fun to date, always talking about Queen and computer processors,” and I said, “It would be a lot more fun than talking about all the stuff he’s lit on fire or blown up.” Robinson never talked about blowing stuff up, but of course, he never talked to me that much in the first place. I feel kind of bad, and I want to give him a second chance, but- Hold on, what am I talking about? I’m going to sleep.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005
9:39 PM
My life is full of boredom. If they featured a week of my life on VH1, it might be called, “The Most Boring Week Ever.” A few weeks ago, my Dad said I could go to a MSI concert, but now he’s all, “Concert? You can’t go to a concert, you’re going to die, omgah.”
We went to see The Music Man second block in the Auditorium. It was alright I guess, the lead girl wasn’t very,  I hate to say. Everyone else was good though, John, Krissy, Robby, and Eli. Eli especially, he played the mayor. But today, Senora Gould gave him ISS for hitting a desk, and she was all, “Oh, he attacked me!” So we’re trying to convince everyone, “Eli is Innocent,”  but writing it all over the place. Earlier today it was, “Free Eli.”
2 days until spring break….

Thursday, March 24, 2005
10:15 PM
What to say?
I think before I die, I’d like to be on Celebrity Poker. The only problem is, I’m not a celebrity. I’d like to be one of those It Girls who are only famous for being famous. Like Paris Hilton. Eww, I didn’t mean I want to be like Paris Hilton, I was just using her as an example for an It Girl. Anyway, the other problem is I’m not actually very good at Poker.
I asked Pat what that guy Thomas thought of me. He said, I was, “Pretty, funny, listened to good music, and knew what I was talking about.” He’s not wrong.
So tomorrow, I’m getting checked out after lunch to go to my grandparent’s house, which will be okay I guess. I haven’t packed yet, so that’s just more work added to my already very hectic life. Assuming I had a life of course. And in fact, the so called life I have now isn’t actually very hectic, mostly just boring.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005
9:09 PM
My dad is slowly trying to drive me insane. The loud Ice-Chewing at dinner, the long, pointless lectures about Godonlyknowswhat,  those were all nothing. Nothing compared to this. This being, throwing away all of my dirty laundry from the trip to my Grandparent’s house. He threw away my MSI shirt that you can only buy on the internet, my green shirt, my two favorite pairs of jeans, I mean, come on. Things like this just make me insane.

Sunday, April 3, 2005
9:22 PM
This has been an incredible waste of a day. We got home from our spring break trip thing yesterday, and I was going to do something with Mia, but I was really tired and my mom wouldn’t give me a ride. So today I was going to go downtown, but my Dad was all, “You can’t go unless another girl goes.” Which is ridiculous if you ask me. But of course, you didn’t ask me, so I’ll just go on with my sad tale, So apparently, all of my friends who are girls are busy or were busy. So,  I spent all day at home doing absolutely nothing.
It seems that I have come to a point in my life where I think I might want a boyfriend again. But as we all know, the road of love is paved with Scrub-type boyfriends and cheating and lies. So tomorrow, I get to go back to school and sit in Spanish class, where for a half hour, I get to listen to Drew tell me how much I suck and how I should just go kill myself. I’m so glad I have such positive friends to support me and make me feel good about myself.

Monday, April 4, 2005
10:35 PM
Another boring, uneventful day. But what else is new? I got to see Mr. Perry today, but of course, I see him everyday as he is my History Intern. I am sort of in love with him. In a rare moment I told my Dad about it, and he says, “So he has no idea you have a crush on him?”
I thought, “You can’t cheapen our love as a ‘crush.’” But I actually said, “No, why would he?”
And Dad says, “You should tell him. It would flatter him.”
“Or freak him out.”
So to add to my unrequited love, Drew was being extra bitchy today. He said, “You’ll never get a date again because no one likes you and you’re desperate. Just go kill yourself and make us all happy.” I think I’ll kill Drew one day. But I love him, honestly.

Tuesday, April 5, 2005
8:04 PM
I’m kind of worried here. I don’t even know how to say this. I think Mia thinks I flirt with Drew and that I still have feelings for him. She wrote it in her blog. It said:
“I’m kind of having a feud with this girl. We’ve got this thing where we like the same guy. The only difference is that I actually go out with this guy. She claims that she has no hard feelings towards me dating him, but the way she acts when I’m with him makes it obvious that there is something that really bothers her. I don’t think Drew notices it, but there are a whole lot of these little clashes that happen between me and her when he’s there. Very subtle though, or I suppose, I mean, it’s like of like she’ll say something about him, and then give me a weird kind of look like, ‘Hey look! I’m hitting on your boyfriend.’ Then it kind of goes back and forth.
“I decided not to worry about it, I just wish she wouldn’t be so fake around me. I mean, we’re best friends, then Drew shows up and she’s all weird. It makes sense she feels the way she does, but I just wish things were different.”
I don’t know if she’s talking about me though. Because she knows I don’t really like Drew at the moment, since he’s always such a bitch to me. But she might be talking about me. Because she was just like, “Read my blog” and as I was reading it, she was like, “Okay, I’m gonna go now.”  But as for weird looks, I do give her weird looks every time Drew says something stupid to me. Like, “God, what an idiot.” Not like, “I’m hitting on your boyfriend.” So I don’t know. I am actually really worried though. I’ll text her since she signed off.
Later
9:15 PM
Oh, thank God. It wasn’t me she was talking about, it was Krissy.

Monday, April 18, 2005
10:51 PM
I’m soooo happy. Do you want to know why? I’ll tell you why. I met someone at the Earth Fest, and I am in love. Well, not actually in love, but I like him. It turns out that he’s friends with Pat, so he’s giving me the hook up. He showed me a convo between them:
Andy: Is Sarah hot?
Pat: Yes!
Pat: God yes.
Andy: Sweet.
Pat: But don’t use her.
Andy: Something, something, blah blah blah, can’t remember what he said, “Thanks so much for sending her this way.”
I’m as happy as a little girl. We get next Monday off, the band trip is next week, it’s all just great.
But, I have to say, I do feel kind of bad. Because John said he still really liked me. It kind of sucks, but we’re still friends.
Tomorrow I have band with Pat, and maybe he’ll tell me the news of Andy!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005
10:48 PM
I got news of Andy today! But not in band, I got it on IM from Pat. He says, “Andy loves talking to you. He says you’re Interesting, Funny, Hot….” I can’t remember the rest. But oh my gosh, he’s so cute. I talked to him today at the bus stop. Neither of us really had anything to say though. And when I talked to him on IM tonight he said, “Yeah, at the bus stop, I guess you can tell I get nervous around really pretty girls.” Oh my Gosh. <3
And the band trip is next week! And Andy’s going to ask me out next week, and it’ll be really cool because he’ll ask me out, then I’ll go on the band trip. And I get to sit in the back with Cassie!

Saturday, April 23, 2005
10:40 PM
Today was actually a pretty boring day. I stayed up all last night watching Evita. I don’t know why I even rented it, seeing as I’m not a big fan or Mrs. Peron. I went to the tanning bed today for 7 minutes. I fell asleep in there again. I think my tan is showing up pretty well now.
Now I’m tired.
Today I was worried about whether to go out with Andy or not. Everyone says that he love then and leaves them. I asked Malcolm what he though, and he said he didn’t think Andy wouldn’t use a girl he really liked, and Malcolm said Andy liked me. But I don’t know, I kind of think he only likes me because he thinks I’m hot, even though he’s not wrong.  Oh well, it’s just one of the disadvantages of being super sexy.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005
10:39 PM
I’m all flustered. He didn’t ask me out today. I don’t know why he didn’t, I kept saying, “Yeah, it’s next week.” And Pat said, “Yeah, I don’t think he got it.” Apparently he didn’t, because even Pat told him, and he still didn’t.
And I didn’t get to get on the computer because my parents had to get on. So when I got on, he had already signed on. Gosh.  So Tomorrow I think I’ll just tell him, “We’re going out now, I’ll talk to you later.”
So the band trip is TOMORROW and I’m only half packed.

Sunday, May 15, 2005
10:42 PM
I have to say, this weekend was pretty kick a. Aubrey had his birthday party Saturday, and Mia and I went. There were a lot of people there, Ben, Pat, Grace, John, Corrai, Robby, Joyce, Chase, Logan and Stacey. We all swam most of the time, and as we were going in to eat, Robby and  Corrai put all of our stuff on the diving board and Aubrey says, “No way guys, all of our stuff is going to get wet.” So he goes up and says, “Sarah, are these your pants? Mia is this your shirt?” So he has all of our clothes, and we think he’s going to save them from the pool, but oh no. He threw them right in and JUMPED on them.
So today I went with mom to Lowe’s and I was really tired, so I sat on our buggy, and my mom was pulling me around, and all of these people thought I was retarded, seriously!  It was pretty funny, because only my mom and I really knew that I wasn’t.
I have to say, Andy and I are doing pretty well. We’ve been going out for almost 3 weeks now. I like him a lot. It’s really great because it seems like whenever I go out with someone,  I get this nagging feeling that I don’t really like them. It’s really horrible. But I don’t feel that way with Andy. I want to shout it from the mountain tops! Or….not.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005
10:07 PM
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe I’m just paranoid. I keep thinking, “What if he doesn’t like me?” “What if he’s just using me?” I don’t know why I’m thinking this all of a sudden. He hasn’t really said anything,  but gosh.  I don’t see how things could have just changed in a day.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005
10:33 PM
Why did I even ask him? Jeez. This is all so stupid. I asked him if he didn’t like me, and if he was going to break up with me. And he got all hysterical on me. He was talking about floods, and sandbags, and all of this dumb shit, and he said he hadn’t even thought of breaking up. All of this is so ridiculous.
Well, we’re going to the movies tomorrow. That should straighten things out one way or another.

Sunday, May 22, 2005
11:19 PM
Yeah. We broke up. I was more upset Friday, but now I’m kind of like, “If we get back together, fine. If we don’t, that’s fine too.”  Because I’m such a caring person, I’m kind of burnt out about caring about crybabies who get mad when I don’t show up to Star Wars.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005
11:00 PM
Today was my birthday! Finally 15. It was a pretty alright Birthday I have to say. Even though I failed my permit test. And Andy and I talked about getting back together a few minutes ago. Again, I’m fine either way. If we get back together or not, that is. AND! I’m finally getting the downstairs bedroom!

Tuesday, June 1, 2005
6:34 PM
I think I’m doing alright. But if I’m really honest, which I always try to be,  I’m a little down, because Andy and I are done for good.
I know this because I was at Emily’s house, and I talked to Andy’s busta of a friend Tyler, on IM and he told me that Andy had been cheating on me the WHOLE TIME with this girl Ingrid or whatever. But anyway, her name is not the point. The point is, Tyler told me that Andy brought up that sandbags nonsense so we could break up and it would seem like my fault. He’s a pretty crappy person, Tyler. Not only is he telling me all of this stuff, but he’s also ratting out one of his friends. I don’t think I believe him though.  It seems like the truth, but I just don’t know. Or care really. It does make one wonder though.
But besides. I don’t want Andy anyway. I am a young and very attractive young lady, just bursting with womanhood. Why waste all of it on a peon like Andy? Seriously.